Thread: my dad is cheating?

I joined here just to post this and ask for advice - I have nowhere else to go.....

So my mom and my dad have been married for 20 years. I didn't suspect anything until this afternoon. It was about 5:00 when I realized that my dad had been on the porch for a while talking to someone on the phone. I listened in and I could hear him saying stuff like "oh I bet you want to get naked and secude some young guys at your work" I listened in closer and I heard stuff like "mmmmmm mmmmm" and "oh im so hard right now"

To put it simply, my dad was talking about dirty stuff to someone other than my mom.

So my dad just went to pick up my mom from work. I decided to investigate further so I went into the garage which he's always in for no apparent reason. On the table I see the newspaper open - it was at the pages offering "big busty blondes" and everything like that. Even worse - the newspaper had a name and phone number written on it. There was an empty envelope (couldnt locate the letter) with "Someone wants to meet you" written on it and at the top it had the name of his old work (it closed down and hes no longer working) on it to disguise it so my mom wouldnt open it.

I don't know what to do. My father told my mother a few days ago he was going to meet up with some of his old buddies from his work on saturday (i assume its the person) I don't know if he's been doing this for a very long time or if it's a 1 time thing. He goes in the garage a lot but hes a kitchen maker so sometimes hes doing that. Hes also currently not working so im afraid he might try to do something then. I love my mom so much and I know she doesnt deserve this garbage. I really dont want her to get hurt but I also really dont want my parents to get divorced. We've never really been the richest family and my parents were still kinda struggling to pay bills even when they both worked. My mom also doesnt drive so I don't know how we'd get everything like shopping and going to see relatives done without my dad.

Please, please, please help. I’m so sad and upset right now and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to make any bad decisions without thinking things through though.

wow that sucks, i would actually concider telling your mum. or speaking to your dad about this. bring it up in a nice way. i mean like what else can you do?

I think it might be easier on you to approach your dad with it and make him talk to your mom. If he ignores it he is hiding something and now realizes that you know and can tell your mom anytime. Just remember whatever you do will change things for all of you. You just have to hope it would be for the better. Good luck and let us know what you do and how things turn out.

Ok so today when I got home from school he was talking on the phone again (in the garage) with the door locked. I listened in for a few minutes but I really didn't hear anything sexual or anything like that. All I heard was "oh she'll be fine, as long as she doesnt go into a strangers car or anything" I don't know what all that was about (possibly talking about my sister after school/work) but I don't think that's relevant (at least I don't think so). Anyway I tried to open the door and then he opened it and put down his phone. I asked him who he was talking to and he said "some friend from work". I kept asking who but he wouldn't tell me the exact friend it was. I told him to go back to talking on the phone and he just kept saying "ya, ya, ya, ya" like he did yesterday on the porch when i interupted him and said he'd talk to the person another day. I just pretended I forgot my key and that's why I knocked on the garage door. While I was walking away I said "I know who you're talking to, i'm not stupid" and walked away. I'm going to do that every day until he figures out that I know what he's doing.



But then I went inside and got really confused. In my previous post I talked about how he was always logging on the computer at least once an hour. Well, I got onto his file (which had his email open) and I saw nothing. Not one email seemed to have anything dirty in it and every single one seemed to be about jobs (my dad's looking for one btw) I don't think he would have deleted emails (if he'd gotten any) that quickly because there's no way he would think that I knew about what he was doing, and he especially wouldnt expect that i'd somehow get onto his yahoo account. I also found an email address on a piece of paper in the room. I might create a random internet account and add it to try and find out who it is. The next thing I want to do is try to get to his phone and see who his last incoming/outgoing calls were to (possibly call them?) and see if he has any texts. It's going to be hard, though, because he almost always has his cell phone with him.



I don't think I'm going to directly tell him I know just yet but I'm going to make sure he finds out I know. Sorry for writing out a lot of writing for you guys to read but I really don't want this at the back of my head - especially not now, when I'm going to be busy with exams and projects all month.

sorry for the short reply but im with the The Protector here, i'd tell your mum. but it looks like you dont have enough proof but you can tell your mum what you heard and what you think is going on. that way you and your mum can try and get to the bottom of things. good luck by the way.

I think he needs to see how things go and maybe his dad will do what is right. We need to remember James is only 14 years old and it shouldn't be his job to tell his mom his dad is cheating on her.

I've had my dad cheat on my mom and I personally think he still does, I haven't told my mom because I'm scared I'll be at fault of their seperation or divorce. I see pictures of nuded women and girls all the time on the house computer . My mother doesn't know how to use the computer that well so, she doesn't know what she's doing to find it. :\

I'd say talk about it with your father if anything. Get to the bottom of things before telling your mother.

That is what I think Carmi.He really needs to talk to his dad first and be very sure what is going on before anything is said to his mom.

I think you need to have a serious conversation with you're dad.