Thread: confused about friendship and love!!

hey!!im 16 yr old ... i m in BIG trouble! last summer i got a real awesome boy friend. he was realy good to me and it felt as if we were meant for each other.we often met n things got till 1st base[kissing] something i was okay with.Aftr 4 months of heaven he said he was bored n wanted us 2 try something new n move to 2nd[caressing] n wen i get comfortable we go to third base [under the clothes and fingering]. at first i said no..he is a very inquisite natured guy but understood me..n never complained. then things began 2 get troublesome cuz he has boards n i didn't want 2 invade into his study time. tht created trouble n we broke up. later he got intrested in a girl.asked me 2 set them up..n idid my best n wat happnd i dont noe. then in september he asked me..n this tym in d fear of loosing him i agreed 2 go till 3rd base but i didn't like it much so we broke up. Like that we got on-off in relationship several times!!till then i had become good friends with a guy *C* who was really nice and would patentiently hear me talk my crap.and i ALWAYS thought of him as a FRIEND only! in december my bf asked another girl who had rejected him[so she said me] till then evry1 thought of me n *c* as a couple..he BOTH *c* n my x asked me...n i said a yes 2 *c* only 2 make self morally strong enough to be away from my x. but then *c* was all ga-ga about me.i never realised how MUCH he had fallen in love with me in the meantime.i felt i coudn't give him the love he deserved and told him so. he got angry n now wouldnt talk to me. while my x has been asking me again n again cud we meet?. today i lost my control because a LOT many thing have been happening in my school and family ..so in frustation i asked him come over, told him my present situation and he fingered me.Aftr we had the work done he said we wud never meet again and this was the last time we shud ever be this close becouse we both should study now and undecided over out feelings for each other. NOW *c* n i are normal. the troubl is IM VERY CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT DO I DO NOW? I DONT WANT ANY BF FOR SURE. BUT MY FEELINGS FOR MY X STILL REMAIN STRONG AND ONCE BROKEN STRENGTH WOULD NOT COME BACK TO ME.I WANNA MAKE UP TO *C* BEINF FRIENDS ONLYBUT HAVE I DONE A MISTAKE BY HAVING THATWITH MY X?did i usene1?have i been used?am i a ****? :(? PLZZ HELP!!![/

something strange about this thread. quick answer move on its that simple.
does India people write like this? put the words in english or somethings up

Killer, chill dude, teenagers write like this nowadays...soooo hard to follow but...


Angel cool, your problem is soooo obvious. Your ex has u under his thumb, that means he has u in a position to make u do anything he wants u to do.
Your ex blatantly is an a**hole and IS using u. By him bringing u in and then rejecting u as he does it makes u feel like u need him to feel better about yourself. By doing what he's doing he can pull u in and push u away easily cos he knows that by keeping u on a thin line to him he can make u feel bad about yourself by pushing u away and then make u feel good again by asking u out again. The only reason he persists when u have said no in the past is cos he knows u will give in eventually.
For instance, have u ever seen a kid ask and ask for a lolly from his Mum in a shopping centre. Some will keep asking and others will stop. The ones who stop know that no means no and theres no point in keeping it up. The ones who keep asking know they will get it in the end by keeping it up, do u see what I mean? Your ex is doing the same to u.

Never should u need to give in to somebody and do things with them sexually just to keep them with u, it is true u know what ppl say about that. Thats something u will be able to see more clearly when your older. Right now u need to not go back to him cos he will make u feel less and less happy until u feel like u are worthless. U will regret it and feel like a moron if u keep letting him do this to u. *C* I feel sorry for cos he didnt deserve any of this. If u decide to have a relationship with someone who has been a good friend for a while then u gotta know he's gonna get hurt if u use him as the rebound guy. And just a word of wisdom for u, if he's friends with u again then he most likely still has strong feelings for u and is hoping u wake up to yourself and give your ex the boot.

Also if your ex has ANY respect for u he'd not do what he's been doing.

He will have more respect for u for NOT running back to him and so will *C*. I think u should consider yourself lucky that *C* came back at all.

I'm sure if u read your own post here again and pretend its a close friend of yours who wrote it and not u that u will see how obvious it is that your ex is using u and how good a friend *C* is.

Just my opinion

I agree with that above post ^^^^^^ ;D

I think you should move on, all tho its very hard but I know it will be worth it.
Don't feel bad on what you just did, just don't do it again with someone you don't think that is the right guy for you. Its kinda normal to do things like this when you're in a relationship. Next time, think things first and think what are the effects if you done this or that and if you're not ready don't be afraid to tell.
Don't lose hope, there's still a lot of time to have a relationship in the future and there's still "plenty of fishes in the sea"

Hope it helped!

Why confused about friendship and love?
I am searching answer also. I searched everywhere then i asked from asian dating coach. I got my answer and i am searching next.

I could hardly read your post. Could you make your post a little eye-friendly?

Higlight it with your mouse...

You are blinded with your ex.
Next time think things maturely by thinking the effects of it first and what may happen after doing that.
And you as his girlfriend deserves a full respect in your relationship, If he's sincere and thinking about the future of your relationship then he shouldn't did sexual things first before your marriage . True love can wait.

It's quite ''funny'' to read this post because I have the same problem, with just some few differences... I don't know what's best for you to do because I don't even know it for myself, but I agree with the other posters - it's not good to stick to a guy like your ex too long. You'll lose yourself in trying to comfort him, but you know what? You can't make anyone love you if they don't. He uses you and that's it - you need to become aware of him being an a**hole and then you can break up more easily.